The flexible one
Parents who have a flexible parental style are adaptable, warm and like to explore the world with their child.
The flexible parent can withstand stress and chaos. And this is good, because life for the flexible one can present some situations where you need to think on your feet, because you rarely see the need for planning. And it can also be good for the flexible parent if not everything goes to plan. Things are solved in a positive way for the child anyway.
The flexible one’s strength comes from the ability to see the child’s unique attributes and their desire to promote creativity and independence. The weaker sides to the flexible parent include lack of planning and creating clear frameworks and structure for their child. Nevertheless, the flexible one will always take the adult responsibility.
If for various reasons your child has a greater need for clearer structure and rules, this may create challenges for the flexible parent. Because even if parents with this style are good at understanding their child’s needs, there will still be challenges linked to keeping good routines and planning over time — as well as sticking to the plan. This is of course far from what the flexible one likes for his or her own life.
Things to keep in mind
- Are there situations that occur where you see that there could be a need for more planning?
- How would it be if you agreed with your child on one area where you stick to a plan (almost) regardless of what happens? (For example, a time to eat dinner, days without visits, bedtime routines.)
- If you live with a partner, how does your flexible style affect your relationship and cooperation concerning the child? How similar or dissimilar are you in your parenting styles?
And remember: Your child won’t be harmed by your not sticking to routines so much. However, it can be a good idea to think about how you as a mother or father deal with and solve things that might be difficult for your child. Children learn from the way we as parents handle situations and take this with them further in life.
If your child finds that they are calmed and framed in a good way when needed, they will be better equipped to do this themselves later in life.